face to face interview, you need to interview the damn HR director. Folks are not presenting their potential jobs as the actuality.  I received a phone call late afternoon on Friday. I was kinda shocked about a 6pm call from a potential employer.  I do the preliminary phone interview with the HR director.  This job does not have benefits. It pays way less than my former job. But, it is in a different field.  My thought, a permanent semi decent paying job. It is better than a temp job or unemployment.

*hitting the fast forward on the remote*

The HR director stated the job was downtown.  Ok, It’s a corporate job b/c they branches in other cities and states.  Huge corporate accounts! I dd my research and check out the website.

*screeching on some bald tires and no brakes pads*

This job is not downtown proper. It’s on the outskirts of downtown.  As soon as you go under the  bridge. You hit what part of town.. There corporate headquarters was an old building with a PA system and buzzer. I was buzzed into the building. Yeah, this neighborhood is rough.  It is very transitional.  The lady behind the glass window ask for my driver’s license and ssn card. Huh?  I can not receive the application. Till I give up the id to her .   I do not have my ssn card. I give my drivers license. She makes a copy of it.  *red flag1*  I receive the application. It is a cut and paste of different employment applications. I’m shaking my head quietly to my self. I had already  felt that I should had cancel this interview. But, I push forward with the interview.  I finished my application and hand it in. The front desk clerk behind glass, she opens the door.  Can you come in and take an Excel test?

In my mind, I’m like WTF?  We would like for you to recreate this Excel spreadsheet.  The Excel spreadsheet, it was an example of payroll spreadsheet. It had data of pay, wages, hours, calucations and other things. I’m like damn. Are you serious? GTFOH?  Ok! I working the spreadsheet, doing formulas and rechecking my spreadsheet to their spreadsheet.  I’m finish. There was one difference. It has a salary  wages vs hourly wages. The lady who took my application says.. Oh yeah It’s an error.  In my head, I’m trying to refrain from any thought. Because my face shows  my thoughts..

I overheard that the HR director tells the front desk clerk (lady) that she will need a number of employment applications and orientation packets, on standby. They are having a booth at a career workshop. HR director comes and take me to her office. The office is small. The HR director is not professionally dress to my “cliche” professional dress.  Why did I glance down and see her stocking feet? Nice lime green french pedicure..

But, She has the permanent job. Who am I to judge in this ’swank’ corporate office?  She could not remember how I qualify for job. I hand her my resume with previous relavent job experience. Why did XYZ company not  keep you as temp in this position? Why did XYZ company hire so many temps?

Now, you are suppose to HR director! You dont know why most companies are using ‘temp’ employees. You dont read a newspaper or HR journals. Duh!  I explained as cooly as I can. I said Companies hire temps b/c they do not have pay workers comp, health or any type of benefits and pay lower wages. She goes oh ok. Well, why you are not working in field? ( I worked as a prevention specialist in the juvenile population) Duh! DJJ decided to drop all grants in prevention. They are thinking about laying off Teachers because students are leaving the state with their parents.

Duh! No jobs! No parents! No students! Duh!

HR director explained the  front desk clerk is the actual HR Assistant. GTFOH HR Director rationalize the title. Plus why this position does not have benefits? She kept saying the present HR assistant is being promoted upward.. *cough*

She goes on to explain b/c the corporate office is in a transitional neighborhood. You’ll have folks coming into the office that they are not suitable for employment. You’ll have to disseminate and have to explain  who can have an interview and not have interview. You’ll have folks coming to apply for a job. They’ll say my ‘worker’ told me to apply for a job here. Oh the phones are light b/c the corporate office screens the call.  Oh Big whippty do!

HR director explains You’ll have to do background/employment reference checks, employment/orientation packets and side projects for the JR HR recruiters. Besides doing travel arrangements, being extra helpful to upper management and being (anally- her words not mine) organized in the office.

HR directors goes Umm  you must not be offended easily..

*tilting my head sideways like Forrest Gump*

The guys here are sweet! They are boys. They cuss and tell off color jokes.. They are harmless. We have to keep them in line.  (In my head, I’m like MOFOKER.. We all cuss.. What do u really mean MOFOKER?)Do I look like somebody moma?

*screeching the turntables*  For $12 an hour, I got to do what! Let’s not mention these fools not paying benefits!

She ask me the standard questions!

Yeah, I’m sending them an email to say Thank you! But No Thank you!  I should send them an invoice for wasting my time!   Sidenote: As I left the office, the HR director went immediately to check out my Excel test.